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November 4th, 2007
10:18 pm - photosynthesis
so today i thought it would be a great idea to photosyntesis during my break at work and then later on alex's balcony... but i came to the conclusion that i am not a plant cause now i am all red and tomato like when i should be green!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF???
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December 26th, 2006
12:38 pm - so this is christmas....
christmas, well what can i say it's ALWAYS interesting... on christmas eve my mum was trying to whip the cream for the pavalova and she had too much in the small bowl and it went EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!! she yelled and cried and said everything was going wrong and this day couldnt get any worse and then my dad said the day will ONLY get wrose from here... as a joke and then 30 seconds later he gets a phone call to say my grandpop died :( so he goes over to my nans and picks her up they identify the body and then she comes back to mine and i feed her champagne to try make everything a little bit better... so i was fucking hella sad that my grandpop died but in the long run i know he is much better off cause at least he isnt in pain and stuff now... i loved him very much though...
Thank you to my awesome boyfriend that has kept me happy and strong :) i dont tell him enough how good he is too me! WORST GF EVEER!!!
SO christmas day was weird cause we went to my mums side of the family for lunch and my cousin has JUST had a baby... it was like 6 days old... it felt weird holding a new life when my pop had just died... it felt good but weird! i dont know if that makes sense ay!
I'm off to new Zealand on saturday and that should be good.... just some time with matt and no work to worry about and everything should be good!
Hope everyone had a good day on CHrsitmas!
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October 5th, 2006
10:04 pm
The world seems not the same,
Though I know nothing has changed.
It's all my state of mind,
I can't leave it all behind.
I have to stand up to be stronger.
I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.
I know, should realise
Time is precious, it is worthwhile.
Despite how I feel inside,
Have to trust it will be all right.
Have to stand up to be stronger.
I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.
Oh, this night is too long.
I have no strength to go on.
No more pain, I'm floating away.
Through the mist I see the face
Of an angel, who calls my name.
I remember you're the reason I have to stay.
I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.
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October 4th, 2006
01:16 am
i know what i want i think but i know i cant have it but i don't really know what i want and i would know what i wanted if things were different but they arent so i ahve no idea. work is shit life is shit im just spiraling and i don't know how to make it stop. i wish the world was perfect and i wish i didnt hurt. actaully not even about me... i see so many people hurt and it hurts and i wish they didn't hurt and i wish i could stop it all... then i see people happy and i know i could fuck that up at any second cause im so fucking stupid so i back off.... Then i ahve no idea what people think and sometimes everything is just too calm for its own good and its fake and it hurts cause i just don't know and i'm going insane!
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September 28th, 2006
08:22 pm
So it's really funny when you find out someone has been totally playing you and someone else off each other so you two hate each other and they can ahve the best of both worlds... in fact its FUCKING ANNOYING!
Work is getting pretty nuts at the moment... you can tell it's getting close to chrissy.... i'm run off my feet with work then tafe work and then friends and stuff.... i'm just baout to like die of exhausten! FUN TIMES
I can't wait for this weekend.... Alexs birfday tomorrow night and that's going to be massaivly awesome!!! then parklife on sunday whihc will also be AWESOME!!!!!
Other then that i ahvent writen much in LJ at all recently so just a shout out to people i never get to talk to anymore! NICOLE i love you niccy don't be in QLD anymore... DAVID another QLD kid who needs to get his butt here and let me hug him...yeah there mytwo shou outs for tonight!
Have a good weekend KIDS!
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September 25th, 2006
08:38 pm - HAPPY BIRFDAY ALEX!
HAPPY BIRFDAY ALEX BABE!
Hope you had an awesome day and your partay is going to rock! I LOVE YOU!
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July 18th, 2006
08:59 pm
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' CrAzY
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' cRaZy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
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May 27th, 2006
01:06 am - RIP
Starting a landslide in my ego
Look from the outside
To the world I left behind
I'm dreaming
You're awake
If I were sleeping
What's at stake
A day without me
Whatever the feelings
I keep feeling
What are the feelings
You left behind
Today's a day without me
I started a landslide in my ego
Look from the outside
To the world I left behind
In the world I left behind
Wipe their eyes, and then let go
To the world I left behind
Shed a tear, and then let go...
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May 11th, 2006
09:17 pm - day to day
i don't get it.... how can i be so incredibly happy for half the day and so fucking over everything the rest of the day.... why do i be so happy... yet still manage to be sad at the same time? why can't things ever just go right... i get one part of life worked out and then someone or something or stuff comes along to shake it all up again....
i just want a day where i can just talk to scotty about happy stuff no other boys involved no drama with someone to have to retell... sure i can just lie and say all is well.... BUT ITS NOT and i WONT but i feel so bad making him listen to it all :( noone should have to listen to that shit... but i'm not a person who can lie about stuff....
on a positive note i hope all the dramas have gone away cause one more drama from any of the people involved and it's like over... the friendship is over.... cause i wont keep giving my happiness to try and make things better for you... i always have time for my friends but i want to think of myself and my boy for once and i wont let it all get to a point where it causes strain on us. Any of my friends that aren't willing to respect me... respect the trust i have put in them... can't respect the choices i have made then well really they aren't friends so i think it's fair to say i'm willing to give them one more chance cause i want to make these friendships work... but i'm not going to get fucked around again.
things will be right cause i refuse to let them be wrong....
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April 26th, 2006
04:55 pm
me and lex and rhysieeeeeee and scotttyyyy are going out to drink half priced cocktails tonight and my and smalex are wearing dresses even though we will probably freeze out tits off but im sure we can just drink alcohol and feel nice and warm and stuff....
i'm having fun away in perth.... dirnking lots of alcohol and annoying alex scotty and rhysieeeeeeeeeee i bought a new dress in teh city and it's pretty but im wearing my other dress out... other then that i had to stop myself from buying too many clothes and stuff.... it was VERY hard... shopping is awesome... i also saw V for vendetta.... it's a hot movie.... bits of it made me feel pissed off..... i was going to say what but then i was worried that people might not have seen it so i'll just be shhhheeed.
i'm drinking cruiser blacks at the moment the lemon and lime flabour... it's kinda werid tasting... but i like it better then smirnofffffff black!
ummm other then that i don't have much else to say.!
be good... behave kiddiesss....
remember if you are going to poke wear a balloooonnnnn!!!!!!!! /me laughs at the people that understand that joke!
xxoo
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April 25th, 2006
01:23 pm
ummmm its cold... and brenda HATES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE JK!!!!
meet on thursday night was good fun cause brenda didnt hate me and we got photos done and it was YAY
THATS ALL
Cocktails are NUMMMYYY!!!
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April 17th, 2006
05:42 pm - after the fighting....
so yeah everyone is arguing and there are issues going on. i just want to say here that i WILL NOT get involved in name calling in lj. i don't need to defend myself here cause anyone thats my friend should take the effort to ask me what the hell is going on. Jen i will say for the final time and yes this time publicly if you wish to have an adult conversation with me you have my phone number... you have my email.... you can PM me in BDU... apart from that i wish nothing to do with the name calling bitching sessions that are going on in live journal. cause its just not worth losing my sanity over.
Instead im going to continue to use my journal for the reason i have it and it's to talk about whats going on. to let my friends that read this who i don't always get to talk to know whats going on.
i had a great week... tamika stayed with me from wednesday to sunday. we ate lots of food :P and krispy kremes... we went to a concert and yeah mika im SOOO IN LOVE WITH THE RED PAINTINGS TOOO!!!!! they were so good and cant wait for their CD to come out :) we chatted and it was just a good weekend all round and i was sad to see her go.
Perth... so excited.... spending time with alex will be so awesome and i get to see scottty again which will be aweosme and i can bash rhysie up cause i think that would be funny... luv ya rhysie.... i'm worried that i wont want to come home.. which would be uncool! or cool.... depending on wether you want me to be in sydney or not!
I'm reading a book for the first time in ages and i must say when things get so bad or i get so angry that i think im going to burst just running away to my fantasy world in the book is just THE BEST thing in the WHOLE world!
ummm thats all!
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April 15th, 2006
06:59 pm - Life so far....
So yeah Life sucks sometimes... i've had my fair share of suck life experiences and i can see lots of people who used to be my friends going through sucky things and its hard cause i just want to be able to make things better for them but i cant... the only way things can be better is if you do it yourself.
for anyone in a relationship or just come out of a realationship i wunna say one thing that i have found to be true. In a relationship you need to learn to be yourself. so often people start a relationship but loose themselves and kind of meld into their partner. I think for a realtionship to seriously work you cant be clingy and dependent... you need to be you and your partner need to be themselves... you walk together in life but you never forget how to make yourself happy instead of relying on your partner in all ways of life... it's good to have someone to lean on when you need them but you shouldnt HAVE to rely on them to make you happy... htey should make you (the happy person as an individual) to be blissfully happy and add to the happiness you provide yourself... i dont think you can be in a serious relationship and help make someone else happy till you are happy with yourself....
i think that was one of the problems i had in my relationship with dave. i found that i was losing myself cause it was getting to be US melded.... he wasnt him and i wasnt me... we were 2 instead of 1+1 it was a needy dependent relationship instead of a healthy relationship... and i know many people that are going through or have been through the same thing... i'm taking time out to be ME and make MYSELF happy... i'm hanging out with friends i again that i havent got to hang out with....
I have had such a good 3 weeks... making new friends hanging out and clubbing with my old school friends as well as hanigng out with mika who is down from brissie... has been an awesome few days... hung out with corey for the first time in like 6 months today and it was AWESOME fun... going away to see alex and scotty and rhysie soon and im just enjoying such a variety of activiteis... from watching dvds to outsidy sports stuff... to playing xbox ... to reading... to going out dancing...! and i'm so happy that im just happy to be by myself... that im not depenmding on someone esle to make mne happy....
i hate it that i see people sitting her saying im so depressed my life is over all cause my partner isnt making me happy or they ahve done something wrong.... if you can blame everything on your partner and your unhappiness well thats exactly why your relationship didnt work... i know it's why mine and daves didnt... we blamed each other for making each other upset.
thats my rant. hope it made sense!
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March 27th, 2006
08:12 pm
DIRECTIONS: Shuffle iTunes. Write down the first line of the first 20 songs that play (excluding songs in other languages, instrumentals, and those with the song title in the first line). Have your friends guess what they are.
1) Drowning deep in my sea of loathing, Broken your servant I kneel
2) Wish I was too dead to cry, My self-affliction fades
3)(wake up) grab a brush and put on a little make up
4) I've been watching you from afar
5) How did it start? Well, I dont know.
6) My boyfriend never shaves
7) Saw him waiting for the train, I know someone he looks the same
8) Hey Dad look at me Think back and talk to me
9) does it matter in the scheme of things
10) Baby girl, where you at?
11) Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over
12) You're keeping in step
13) Hey, little girl, I wanna be your boyfriend
14) Let's take a blast to the moon baby
15) Monday morning: hesitate, I can't get out of bed
16) You were my sun You were my earth
17) And I'd give up forever to touch you
18) Four A.M., two hours to go
19) I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
20) I know all about,about your reputation
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December 12th, 2005
05:18 pm
WHY THE FUCK CANT WE JUST BE A HUMAN RACE!!!!!! why do we have to be leb or aussie!!! why cant we just be people.... why cant people just get on with each other... yeah ok some lebs bashed up some lifeguards... and that is fucked and those guys are fucked... but hang on kids how do you retaliate by bbashing up WOMEN and POLICE OFFICERSSS... aussies not all aussies... most people just wanted to stop innocent people getting hurt... but the other guys.... think for a second how the fuck would you feel if a gang of lebs walked up to an aussie chick and stripped her naked then bashed the fuck out of her.... Now lets say that was your girlfriend. HOW THE FUCK ARE THE LEBS GOING TO FEEL WHEN YOU WALK UP TO THEIR WOMEN.... STRIP THEM OF THEIR HEADSCARFS ANDTHEN BASH THE FUCK OUT OF THEM! i am fucking ashamed of the guys that did that and we dont fucking need them in our country.!
Lebs... most of you... like the aussies are as peacefull as anything and it is fucking shit that you guys are coping the shit of a gang of lebs are causing problems. it sucks that you guys cant go to the beach and not get harassed...
people were saying that sunday would be the end of it... the end of the violence and shit.... it was just the fucking begining.... NOW EEVRYONE HAS TO FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES! of cause there were going to the retaliations... the retaliations were no fucking suprise! i do in no way think what anyone did was right... for fucks sake once again innocent people are getting hurt... all you aussie guys managed to do was make sure that there would be futher and more severe violence... an innocent guy in woloware got stabbed and his girlfriend threatened to be raped because of what happened on sunday at the beach.... maroubra got fucked up innocent people who had nothing to do with the nulla fights got hurt.... the guys that did it are fucked BUT THINK FOR A SECOND.... IT IS A MINORITY! and it wowuldnt ahve fucking happened if nulla had happened!!!!!!!! whats the fucking bet not ONE person who got hurt in nulla WAS GUILTY of ANYTHING except trying to stick up for themselves...!!!
I AM ASHAMED TO LIVE IN AUSTRALIA AT THE MOMENT. i am ashamed of the lebs that are causing shit... i'm ashamed at the aussies causing shit. i hate going to work cause i work with lots of lebs and i am ashamed at what aussies put these wonderfull people through just cause of a few deadshit that happen to share their race. I'm fearfull for my brother that has to work in arncliffe because of the retaliations of sunday at nulla.... and most of all im in tears at the fact it looks like it is all going to happen again next sunday!!!!
do you want to know why not many people were there on sunday??? as in leb wise... cause most of them dont want trouble... and the 60 or so people that ddi want trouble were not stupid enough to be there so they went and fucked up some innocent people.... those lebs deserve to be locked up in prision...
ANYONE that was apart of the violence on sunday i am ashamed... wether you be aussie or you be leb FUCK YOU ALL... you have now made it harder for this world to fuction... people have had to quit there jobs... leave there houses... groups of friends with mixed religions can no longer enjoy themselves.... AND FUCKING LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LEB AND A WOG YOU FUCKERS!!!!
WE ARE ALL FUCKING PEOPLE.... WHY THE FUCK WONT BOTH THESE GROUPS CAUSING TROUBLE SEE THAT!!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/angry.gif) angry
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November 10th, 2005
02:24 pm
i am so upset and frustrated at the moment.
today i bought a PSP... i have just about finished 14 years of school (last exam tomorrow) anyone that knows me knows how fucking hard this has been for me.. i had some money saved up so i decided i wanted to buy myself a psp as a kinda congrats for getting through it lisa gift... now you wouldnt think that was a bad thing yeah? WRONG everyone is yelling at me saying i cant afford it i should be saving etc... I CAN AFFORD IT! then they turn around and say i dont need it.. we dont need lots of things for fucks sake. my parents didnt need the $10 000 tv they just bought or the $10 000 air con that was just installed. My boy didnt need to buy the $700 drill and the $400 worth of cricket gear he just bought. He doesnt NEEED the $500 i pod im buying himfor christmas. but they wanted all those things so they got them... why is it so fucking wrong for me to want something and buy it out of my own money??? me and david are currently thinking about saving for a house. now i understand that i could have put that money i bought the psp away... but why the fuck should i???? he has spent money on shit... why am i made to feel like a bitch for wanting to buy something for myself??? THIS IS FUCKED... i lvoe him so much and he got so angry when i got cranky about him buying $70 gloves... now he is going off at me for buying a PSP and hey if he was really that keen on saving he wouldnt let me buy him a $500 ipod for christmas and ARGH! it's so fucking unfair.!!! i REFUSE to feel bad for buying something that *I* wanted out of my own money. there are very few things we NEED and if we only spent money on what we NEEDED then we would all be rich!
-END RANT!-
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September 21st, 2005
11:15 am
Life has been ummmm lifeish! there are the good and hte bad. work is busy... but good... boyfriend is awesome.. we are about to go away for a week and im really looking foward to that... only a few weeks before i do my last 3 HSC exams... not so much looking foward to that... kinda stressfull and i want it to be stopped... but what can ya do???
i love my puppy he is so cute... he is sitting on my lap asleep at the moment... oh so cute... he wakes up every now and again because of the noise the typing is making. I'm going to miss my puppy dog when i go away for a week...
I'm buying a pink Nintendo DS tomorrow and im so excited and i'm going to get NintenDOGS to play with it... and then when NNY is in sydney we are going to make our nintenDOGS be friends and it will be AWESOMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meet Joss the other day.. well any buffy, angel or firefly fan knows how exciting that is without me having to go into any details :) anyone else well... really doesnt care so i wont go into details!
i just want to do a shout out and i LOVE YOU to a few people i dont get to talk and see very much. in no order cept alphabetical cause i love you all equal!
ALEXXI! I love you and miss you a whole bunch! i hope you are having a blast and stuff *kisses*
Brenda! I dont get to see you much anymore... busy busy busy but cant wait for the haloween party!
Erin! I LIKE SWITCHFOOT! not long now!
Nicole! I miss you heaps and wish you were here so we could do donalds trips
Samara! *HUGS HUGS AND 1000 MOre* also cant wait for the haloween party!
UMmmm i lvoe many other people but they are all that are getting a mention today!
Farewell!
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September 14th, 2005
10:58 pm
johnny im buying a pink DS PINK I TELL YOU! with nintendogs! all for the great price of $199 WOOO HOOO! you better read this cause it is personalised to YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....
what games should i buy? what ahve you got that is BRILLIANT??
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September 5th, 2005
03:44 pm
schools unfair and SUCKS!!!!!!!
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